Inspiration is the feeling we get when we believe that anything is possible. It’s the delicate butterflies that float in our stomach when we know we have to do the big, scary thing that will make our hearts sing. When we feel inspired, we feel positive emotion which leads to positive action. It’s a cycle that keeps on going and it spills into every area of our lives.
Listen—I get it—this whole parenting thing is not an easy gig. We are in charge of kissing boo-boos, making an endless number of balanced(ish) meals, cleaning like hamsters on wheels, and now we have to inspire our kids too? Being a mom, though, is so much more than the activities we do day-in and day-out.
We can’t forget our most important tasks—the non-tangible ones. We are the ones in charge of inspiring our kids and showing them that they can do hard things. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we instilled resilience, compassion, and empathy in them? How about if we gave them walking permission to step into the marvelous authentic beings they came into this world as, instead of being critical or projecting our outdated ideals of what success and happiness mean?
The Positive Psychology field is gaining momentum and the research shows that happiness is a key predictor to success. Between that and the rise of common mental health disorders like anxiety and depression, I’m gonna go out there on a limb and say that inspiration is a down-right non-negotiable, mama. So how can we inspire our kids?
Give Them Space
From the second our babes open their eyes in the morning to the minute their bobble heads hit their pillows at night, we’ve got them in full fledge go-mode right alongside us. We rush from here to there, coffees in hand, secretly praying we can get everything checked off our endless to-do lists. Our kids feel the rate at which we move. They get burned out from the busy-ness too and they need down time just as much (if not more) than we do.
I’m not suggesting we ditch our obligations or responsibilities. (But seriously, how awesome would that be for a day!?) However, kids thrive when we give them the time to create and play without adult intervention. If that means letting them be bored so they can figure out something to entertain themselves with, then that’s what it means. They need time to let their imaginations run wild, to play, and to just be kids (yes, sans screens).
Engage Instead of Compliment
We have a tendency to praise our kids constantly for jobs well-done and even jobs not-so-well-done. How many times have you said “Good job!!” to a toddler who holds up a piece of art that looks like your drunk uncle just colored it. Yeah, me either.
Seriously though, when we praise our kids for end results they become overly goal- oriented rather than enjoying the process of creation. Of course, we want our kids to have goals but we need to remember that it’s the happiness in our lives which contributes to the highest levels of meaningful success.
Happiness and success are intrinsic, yet with every “good boy” or “good girl” we innocently utter, we’re showing our kids that the most valuable thing is someone else’s opinion (even if it is ours—but hey, we’re a little biased). Focusing on the actual task at hand is kinda like: “I saw you working so hard on building that tower—great focus!” or “Thanks for getting in the carseat the first time I asked, that really helps mommy”.
Instead of mindlessly praising we can comment on the actual work they’re doing or how they’re working really hard building or painting or creating something. When we focus on what they’re doing instead of judging if it’s “good” or “bad”, our kids are more likely to have a sense that the process of learning is actually fun regardless of the result. This produces life long learners who want to engage in education.
When we become wired for praise we’re likely to seek approval (at any age) from outside sources—something that can become a toxic habit and lead to perfectionism which, contrary to popular belief, is not a trait we should be aiming for.
Focus on Our Personal Growth
Becoming a parent is one of the biggest catalysts for growth we can have—if we’re conscious. Every time we get annoyed with our kids or they have a meltdown, are we reacting or simply responding? When do we feel triggered by their actions?
Addressing these simple (however, challenging) questions cultivates deep personal awareness which is critical for positive relationships in every area of our lives—and especially with our children.
Relationships, according to Dr. Martin Seligman (the founder of Positive Psychology) and his model for happiness, are one of the five key areas we must evaluate to attain happiness. The other four are: positive emotion, engagement, purpose, and achievement .
When our kids see us striving to be the best version of ourselves, they are going to be inspired to do the same. That could mean turning off the news and reading an inspirational book or maybe dedicating our free time to a hobby, passion project, or volunteer position.
Our girls have already been to a handful of volunteer days and even though they don’t do much (yet) as they grow, it will be something they (hopefully) genuinely want to weave into their lives too. There’s no gift we can give our kids that’s more valuable than the gift of growth.
When we step out of perfection and into purpose, our kids feel safe doing the same and can grow right alongside us. What else do we want for our kids other than for them to step into their true happiness? (Rather than striving for goals that don’t align with their highest being.)
Inspired adults create inspired kids— so sign up for that art class, mama. Start that business, create your purpose, and take inspired action. The positive impact we create by bringing more inspiration into our lives starts at home. It also has the potential to create a happier more sustainable future for our babes. Who doesn’t want that? Here’s to inspired living for generations to come.
Ryann Watkin is a Creative Educator, Success Coach, Writer, Speaker, Stay-at-Home Mamapreneur, and Founder of The Moms In Business Collective. When she’s not creating content, she’s probably chasing her two toddlers around a playground somewhere—and she totally counts that as her cardio. Through various roles in education, Ryann rediscovered her love for the written word and is committed to inspiring others through her writing. You can follow her wild and mundane adventures on Instagram @raisingwildhearts. Ryann believes we’re all here to do something big and that it starts small. She lives in Lake Worth with her Hubbs, Nate and their two bobble head girls, Marleigh and Paige.
