Ever get caught up in the war between the Boy Moms and the Girl Moms? Girl Moms swear their girls can be louder and rowdier than boys, while Boy Moms swear their boys are more than just horrendous mess makers. Then there are the other moms. The Both Moms. I think that those of us who have both a boy and a girl child are bridge builders. We can sit with both groups, and speak words of encouragement into both camps.
Mrs. June Clever or Mrs. Caroline Ingalls
Are you familiar with these moms? June Clever was a 1950s American housewife with 2 sons. A boy mom. The show often revolved around the adventures and exploits of the younger son, with occasional episodes focused on the older son Ward. It was the kind of show that made viewers shake their heads and say that hated phrase, “boys will be boys.” (yuck). The other woman, Caroline Ingalls was a girl mom. A character on a 1970s show about 4 poineer girls, she saw that her girls were constantly getting into scrapes like not having as nice a dress as mean girl Nelly. Both women were background characters to their children, and both sets of children were constantly getting into problems that were seen as appropriate for their gender at the time. Real life June Clevers and Caroline Ingalls have more complicated children.
I am always hearing of the antics of my best friends’ children. They are both boy mamas, and their boys are a little older than my children. My friend Jess has three boys and my friend Christine has 3 boys. They are constantly telling me of the knock down drag out wrestling matches, or the scientific experiments these boys are having. Although its not just athletics and science that boys are into. How do I know? They tell me. Christine tells me of deep theological discussions she has with her boys, and Jess adds that her sons are keen observers of the current human condition. They are multi-dimentional children, up to more than just Leave-It-to-Beaver type of antics.
My other friends, Liz and Beth, each only have two girls. While boy moms think that girls are all tea parties and pink tutus, the girl moms know the truth. My friends regale me with stories of the arguments and messes their girls care capable of. Girls are capable of setting a pretty table, but they are also capable of making a mess trying to create a replica volcano for a science experiment. As if that wasn’t enough, they also share with me the tenderness with which their girls treat their pets. These girls are interested in barbies and princesses, but also science, and specifically medicine.
The Topanga Mom
As a boy and girl mom, we have less in common with June Clever or Caroline Ingalls and more in common with every 90’s child favorite smart girl, Topanga. Topanga, if you don’t know or remember, was the high school sweetheart of Cory Matthews on Boy Meets World. In the show’s spin off Girl Meets World, Topanga has 2 children, Riley and Augie Matthews. Riley is the girl, and Augie is the boy. Yet contrary to what is expected, all of the little boy’s plot lines are devoted to his love of his next door neighbor Ava, while Riley’s problems have to do with her middle school world.
Topanga moms in real life know that while there are differences between girls and boys, the fact that they are all human makes them more alike than not. We know that a girl might like to play ophthalmologist while the boy might like to play tea party. They are just children and putting them against each other doesn’t set them up for success in middle school. And putting moms against each other doesn’t help either.
I could draw differences between my daughter and son all day, but the truth is, they are far more similar than they are different. They both like Sesame Street and Daniel Tiger. They both like music played by my sister. And they both like milk. And those moments where they actually place nicely together? That is a little bit of heaven on earth.
So Mamas, whether you are a Boy Mom, or a Girl Mom or a Both Mom, enjoy it! But don’t forget, you have far more in common with the mom next to you thank you have differences. Besides, you might start out a boy mom, but all it takes is one pregnancy which can throw you into the Both Mama camp!
