Parent Conversations- I Used to Speak Like an Adult

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I am a grown up, an adult… well, at least according to my age I am, anyway.  I am also a mom to two amazing young girls.  These two facts coexist; however, one seems to take over the other a little more than I’d like.  Can you guess which one it is?  I bet you can, especially if you are also a parent or guardian yourself.  

I Used to Speak Like an Adult

Being a mom is wonderful and I am truly thankful for my little blessings.  I also enjoy being a grow up.  Why then, does it seem that I have lost some of my ‘adultness’ with each subsequent child?  I used to have highly intelligent conversations, using eloquent vocabulary, about worldly issues and important topics.  However, more often than not, recently I have found myself talking about ONLY child friendly topics.  And not just in front of my children, when it would be understandable.  This happens even when my kids are not around. 

For example, I was on the phone with a friend the other day discussing how we’ve both continued watching cartoons after our children have been in bed.  Sometimes that is because we’ve forgotten our children are no longer near us.  Sometimes it’s because we actually want to see how a show ends. (Admit that you’ve done this too- No judgement here!)  We’ve also debated the actors/actresses who voice the characters on our kids’ favorite shows.  My friend also has two young children, so we both see our fair share of children’s programming (the screen time issue is not up for debate here today!).  Did you know the voice of Rubble on ‘Paw Patrol’ is the same as the person who voices Night Ninja on ‘P.J. Masks’?  I did not!  Although, I was quick to point out that the voice of Rapunzel from ‘Tangled: The Series’ is the same as that of Sheriff Callie.  See, our brains have turned to mush! 

It doesn’t stop at just noticing character voices either.  Sans the presence of our children, the conversations I have with my mom friends nearly always goes back to child-friendly topics.  We discuss things like what kid-friendly places we are going to visit soon (park, nature center, spring festival, etc.).  Which library story time will we be attending?  What great kids’ books have we found recently?  Potty training.  Sleep patterns.  Pediatrician visits.  Speech therapy.  The best iPad apps.  It’s never ending in our mom conversations.

Obviously, we all love our children.  That goes without saying.  But where did our adultness go?  It used to be there!  I enjoyed being a mature adult from the age of 18 to about 30 years old, when I delivered my oldest.   I used to be up to date with the news, and knew the weather predictions for the next week.  I could carry on lengthy conversations about insightful topics, providing details for my thoughts and opinions.  Now?  Ha!  I’m lucky if I know the weather for the current day, or what’s happening in my own neighborhood; let alone the world.  I only know the date because of my job (where I also spend time with children, and don’t get much by way of adult conversation). 

We Still Care

It’s not that us moms don’t care about the world or significant topics of conversation anymore, it’s just that our brains are focused so much on our family, that we lose a little bit of ourselves (and yes, even our ability to ‘adult’) in the process.  Some parents are capable of turning the ‘parent talk’ on and off, and I give them the utmost credit.  I am with children nearly 24/7 (both my own, and my students), and my brain struggles with topics in my own age category.  But I still care about important topics, I’m just too exhausted to do much about it.  

Break Time

Therefore, it is imperative that parents get a break sometimes.  We need time away from our children to decompress, relax, and get back to being us. Just a few minutes a day can be beneficial, and even if you still use that time to talk about your kids or topics that revolve around them.  Mom friends are beyond valuable because they understand exactly where you’re at in life right now.  Mom friends won’t even notice if you make a cartoon reference, because they were probably thinking it too.  So, I’m going to enjoy this stage of life, because all too soon, I will be able to go back to living as a full adult, and I’m sure that at that point I’ll miss these mom conversations more than I realize.  

 

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Nichelle Tran
Nichelle grew up in Michigan, Connecticut, and Hawaii, but has called Florida her home since 1993. She met her husband, Minh, while graduating from Lynn University in Boca Raton, where he owns his own Marble & Tile installation company. They have two daughters that are the light of their lives and also keep them on their toes, Tristynn (age 10), and Harleigh (age 7). Nichelle teaches 5th grade Language Arts, which goes right along with her passion for Reading. When she’s not caught up in a great book, she enjoys going out on her boat with family and friends, taking self-defense classes, doing arts & crafts (Yay, Pinterest!), and taking naps. Nichelle has written 4 fictional books for (and about) her daughters, through a program for her elementary students, and is very excited to be writing for Palm Beach Mom Collective. She works hard to find the balance between work and home life and wants other moms to know that they aren’t alone in trying to create that sense of balance in their lives.