It was one week ago today that Valentine’s Day was forever changed. My oldest son is four years old, he goes to school down the street from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School…. he was supposed to be in class for afternoon activities at the time of the shooting however; I took him out since it was supposed to be a fun holiday and I wanted to spoil him with gifts and candy. When I left my house to go get him some more treats I was almost ran off the road by an undercover cop!
There was an officer in the middle of the road flagging cars down – I was been told to stop while other cops came speeding down Westview and Coral Springs Drive. As I went around the cop standing in the middle the road I glanced down at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. It seemed every police office from Davie through Boca was there! I pulled over and looked on Facebook and saw that there was an alert not to go anywhere near the high school; but no explanation as to why. I continued on where I was going and got to a television….there I saw live coverage from the helicopters about the shooting, I immediately called my nanny to make sure she wasn’t on the daily bike ride with my two children down that very street. We ride that street on our bikes to get to Pine Trails Park every single day between the hours of two and four to go to our regularly scheduled play dates . Thankfully they hadn’t left yet and I told her not to let the kids go outside and that I’ll be home shortly. Then my husband and I got in touch but the service was in and out, we couldn’t send text messages, phone calls wouldn’t go through. All I could hear was ambulances and sirens my heart sank into my stomach as I realized the shooting was going to be a mass casualty disaster.
The next idea I had was to try to reach out to anybody I knew that may have kids inside I wanted to see what I can do to help . I called my yoga studio because I knew that one of my teachers was a yoga teacher at Marjory Stoneman Douglas. Thankfully she wasn’t there and neither was her children. I also called and stopped by neighbors homes to make sure that their children were safe and thankfully I had heard that their parents had reached them and that they were walking home. Why? Because we couldn’t drive our cars down our street…. why you ask? Because the shooter was caught walking down the street that I live off of!!! Just 3 gates down from where my home is.
Whether or not you have children this is national news that has affected everybody, whether it’s aligning with similar thoughts about what we should change in the world and in the school systems or if it’s just finding out that you have a common person or casualty connection.
Valentine’s Day will forever go down as this terrible day not filled with love or joy but filled with hurt, pain and lots of sadness. The park I mentioned that my sons play at is now a memorial for the 17 lives lost. I don’t know if or when I will bring my sons back to that park . My oldest has no idea what happened last Wednesday. He thinks that he was on a winter break and I am pretty positive I’m going to keep it that way. After all he’s only four years old why should I make him have to try to comprehend what happened, why do I have to scare him when he loves school that’s his favorite part of the day seeing his teacher, enjoying his three hours of learning and coming home and telling me all about it. Today when I dropped him off I sat in the parking lot and cried, I was so scared to just leave him there. Every single day it seems there are some bomb threats called into a nearby schools or another child bringing a hit list and a weapon with them. My son’s school doesn’t have a guard or a cop on duty…. just locks & cameras, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel comfortable just dropping him off and walking away. Everyone I know is in the same boat and I can’t imagine what the people are feeling who’s kids are going to have to walk back into Stoneman Douglas.
I wanted to write this not to tell my story but to express my fears…that I want to help figure out how to make all of our children safe. This tragedy affected my community, it has forever changed many lives and I would hope that those lives lost will have voices continuing to speak up for them. Please don’t let their deaths be in vain .
Rest In Peace
Alyssa Alhadeff
Scott Beigel
Martin Duque Anguiano
Nicholas Dworet
Aaron Feis
Jaimie Guttenberg
Chris Hixon
Luke Hoyer
Cara Loughran
Gina Montalto
Joaquin Oliver
Alaina Petty
Meadow Pollack
Helena Ramsay
Alex Schatcher
Carmen Schentrup
Peter Wang
Mama Joey
