I’m Tired of Fighting Battles

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I am somewhat of a fighter by nature.   I don’t mean physical fighting-  Thankfully I’ve never had to throw a real punch.  I’m talking about emotional and mental battles.  My parents modeled strength during adversity, and I learned from their example.   They taught me to fight for what is right, and for what I believe in, without backing down.  These are great qualities, and I am so thankful that they instilled this in me from a young age.  But at the same time, I’m tired of fighting battles.  I’m tired of having to fight.  

I have had to fight for so many things in my life, some small and some large.  Since becoming an adult (and definitely since becoming a parent), I’ve fought for more things than I care to, to be honest.  And I wasn’t always this way, I used to be much more shy and quiet.  But, by necessity, I have learned to fight for things when needed.  

The first thing I can really remember sticking up for myself for was in college when my scholarship money was not being allocated correctly.  Every semester I had to go to the financial aid office at my university and explain what they were doing incorrectly.  I had papers, files, scholarship notices, etc. to make sure they dispersed the funds in the correct manner.  At the time it was torture for me, having basically just learned to do this for myself, without my parents being right there to guide me in the fight.  Looking back I am glad to have had that experience though since it taught me how to truly fight for what needed to be done.  

What I’ve Fought For-

But since that time (we won’t say exactly how many years ago I graduated from college, LOL), I really could have done without having to fight for quite so much.  I’ve fought for doctors to listen to me about my own medical issues, for specialists to find a solution to my daughters’ medical needs, for bills to be rectified when charged incorrectly, for new plans for cable networks (that they claimed didn’t exist until I pushed further), for better rates on car insurance, for professional courtesy when speaking with those in customer service, for the many issues with my brand new car, etc., etc., etc.  That doesn’t even take into consideration some of the major things I’ve had to go into battle for- such as my car accident, hospital negligence for my husband’s surgery, and improper handling of my daughter’s medical problems in the Emergency Room.  The list truly goes on and on.  

Why Is It Necessary to Fight?

Why is it necessary to have to fight for so much?  I’m tired of it.  If something is wrong, it should be fixed.  If there is an issue, it should be corrected in a timely fashion.  It shouldn’t require hours, days, or months of proving why and how it needs to be done.  I truly feel like a lawyer preparing for a case when I go into battle for things that are wrong (and I am definitely not a lawyer).  I create pages upon pages of notes, complete with dates, names of people I’ve spoken with, rules/laws I’ve found online, and so much more.  It’s ridiculous and time-consuming.  

I certainly don’t think it’s just me that is required to fight.  Other moms, dads, friends, etc. also have to fight for stuff too.  It’s exhausting for everyone involved, I know!  I bet there are those that don’t mind fighting their way through life, but personally, I’d really rather not.  

Reasons to Continue the Fight

However, my girls are watching, and so I continue to fight.  I don’t want them to learn that accepting things at face value is OK.  Or that quietly sitting back when something is wrong is alright.  I want them to learn to fight for things they believe in, or to right injustices presented in their life.  I don’t ever want them to sit idly by knowing something isn’t fair, without putting up a fight.  And so, I continue fighting all of the battles, even though I’m tired of having to do so.  I’m sure many others out there feel the same way.  Our children are watching, always, and we need to set the example. 

 

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Nichelle Tran
Nichelle grew up in Michigan, Connecticut, and Hawaii, but has called Florida her home since 1993. She met her husband, Minh, while graduating from Lynn University in Boca Raton, where he owns his own Marble & Tile installation company. They have two daughters that are the light of their lives and also keep them on their toes, Tristynn (age 10), and Harleigh (age 7). Nichelle teaches 5th grade Language Arts, which goes right along with her passion for Reading. When she’s not caught up in a great book, she enjoys going out on her boat with family and friends, taking self-defense classes, doing arts & crafts (Yay, Pinterest!), and taking naps. Nichelle has written 4 fictional books for (and about) her daughters, through a program for her elementary students, and is very excited to be writing for Palm Beach Mom Collective. She works hard to find the balance between work and home life and wants other moms to know that they aren’t alone in trying to create that sense of balance in their lives.