So let’s face it throughout life we do our best to be polite and understanding of other people. I always say you introduce with your best version of yourself but as the visits frequent, and the friendship forms or fades your truest version shall appear and in some cases it ain’t so pretty!
This brings me to a topic that is a little taboo, how did you meet your kids friends? Did you pick up the mom at a playgroup? Or was she a friend of a friend … or at the park, did your kids connect first?
It’s always so funny for a lot of parents at the beginning of your relationships. I’ve seen a previously written blog saying it almost feels like dating! I don’t feel that way, I find that I’m a good judge of character and I can read people pretty well so I feel that if you have good intentions and a nice heart I welcome you with open arms!
To me quality is definitely my preference instead of quantity however the more the merrier. Being that I’m from New York, originally the thought of meeting mom friends and a crew for my child was a little scary, especially because I knew he wasn’t going to go to day care or to school until he had to; so that means I had to meet friends through other social groups, doctor office, parks or the mothership (literally) Target.
I’ve been very blessed that my husband moved us to the suburbs. If he hadn’t, I would’ve been in a condo 22 stories up probably would’ve never left , and most likely would’ve never joined the Mom mafia ! My son and I would be in a limbo without close friends and not as happy as we are now with our crew!
Are you happy with your mom friends and your crew? How did you all meet each other?
I also mentioned earlier that this was a taboo topic so I’m not going to tiptoe around this…. sometimes our kids are the ones that find each other even if it is in a mommy group. My son’s first friend, he met at the age of six months. He crawled over to Dominick and they’ve been close friends ever since and boy I lucked out with Dominick’s mama! However for the majority of us, our kids meet their friends at school or day care without their parents there… so it’s a nerve racking experience for some; when the day comes for a playdate outside of the usual routine. As fortunate as I have been in my life and with my sons friends, I know that’s not the case for most! I’ve heard stories about the parents disagreeing on everything under the sun which makes it awkward . Unfortunately sometimes on the playdate the kids just didn’t click with the friend anymore but the mom or even the dad is so fun and you want more! How awkward is that? I know we’ve all experienced something like this either you have different views on parenting organic versus non-or even the hot topic of vaccinations.
In the end, I believe everyone has something to offer. They have to have some common ground, after all you both decided to turn your worlds upside down to bring new meaning into your lives. That in itself is a bond only parents “get.” So if you’re struggling to enjoy the company of another parent’s child or the parents of your child’s bestie…. remember this word of advice try to see the good in all people. Isn’t that a lesson we want to teach our children?
The “life is short” quote doesn’t apply during these “playdates” because remember they’re designed for our kids not us! If you do click with a parent or a couple and don’t see eye to eye with their offspring; or can’t wrap your head around why your kid enjoys this menace, imagine if it was the other way around. If the kid is a “bad influence,” have some patience and if you really need to separate your kid from theirs because you feel you can’t help correct the behavior you don’t like….. then take a break from that child outside of the usual get togethers. You can always enjoy a double date night with the super fun parents, just whatever you do- don’t mention your issues they will work themselves out! Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder 🙂 for those of you that love the friends but cannot tolerate the parents try to find the common ground I mentioned earlier, worst case scenario you can talk about fluff and then the next play date bring some wine and you never know it may help the awkwardness, and you may end up actually liking them! Vino=convo