A new year is upon us. We obviously already live in the age of social media, and 2019 will only bring more social networks. Nearly everyone has some form of online life at this point. Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, dating apps, etc., our world is being shared to some extent. We choose what we put out there for others to see, but it is out there. And because each of us are unique individuals, we have our own thoughts about what should or should not be posted online. Due to these differences, people who like to judge and shame come out to play, and they certainly don’t play nicely.
I Post Pictures Online (gasp!)
Admittedly, I post quite a bit online. It’s mostly pictures of my family (I am a photographer at heart), but sometimes I post updates about our lives too. I’m not looking for tons of comments or likes (although, who doesn’t enjoy getting notifications like that?!). I am more interested in sharing the fun things we do together, the entertaining places we go, and the exciting events we attend as a family. I also truly enjoy seeing those memories pop up in future years. Now, I understand that my motives may not always come across as intended. That’s one of the downfalls of social media. Some people post to show off, to purposely make others feel bad, or to fill a void in their lives. But some truly just want to share memories and connect with family or friends around the world.
Family Gathers Here
One of the biggest reasons I share part of my life online is because I have no family close by. Not one blood relative lives near me. My family isn’t huge to begin with, but it feels even smaller since none of them are in my region. Thankfully I do have in-laws, and friends that are like family nearby; but the closest relatives are either 3 hours away by car, or 3 hours away via plane. That’s not close enough for a day-trip, unfortunately.
So, to feel closer, I share online. Because, you know what?! Even my Grandma has Facebook! That’s right- and she rocks it too. She knows how to like, comment, share, click that she’s interested in an event, and private message. She can navigate to specific pages or people, and even Facebook stalk (O.K.- I might have taught her that last one! LOL). But the point is that every person in my family can feel close-by when we’re all sharing our lives together. Could we do something less public to share instead? Sure. But the joy of social media platforms is that it’s easy. Simple enough that even my Grandma can do it. And she does so in order to see pictures of her great-grandchildren, and other family members that don’t live within a reasonable driving distance. We can all keep in touch with our family in other states, in all stages of life, and feel as if we are right there with each other, not missing a beat.
Let’s Face It- Being Mom Shamed Sucks
I don’t feel that I overshare, or that I put anything out there that is inappropriate. However, I’m sure that at least one of my ‘followers’ begs to differ. I’ve been mom shamed for posting in general, on more than one occasion. One time, a former friend made a backhanded comment about my online sharing shortly after I gave birth to my oldest daughter. She had her first child two weeks before me, and when I texted her to check in, she said, “I’ve been spending all my time with my baby instead of posting on Facebook.” Well alrighty then! Apparently since I posted pictures celebrating the birth of my child, that makes me a bad mom in her eyes. Thankfully, as judgmental as her comment was, I just ignored her. But whether she meant it to sound that way or not, her statement could easily have offended me, especially with my hormones going crazy after having just delivered a baby.
Online Sharing Etiquette
My thoughts for online sharing are this: as long as you aren’t posting anything inappropriate or dangerous, then it’s not really any of my business. It may be different than what I would personally post, but who am I to judge? Our family tries not to post exact locations while we are in those places. We respect the wishes of those who do not wish to be plastered across social media and refrain from posting pictures of them. I also try to be mindful of sharing a realistic portrait of our lives, not just the good stuff. But what I choose to share is exactly that, what I choose. So, unless it affects someone else, it shouldn’t matter to them. Let’s go into 2019 with a promise to stop the judging and shaming of others! #NoMoreMomShaming
