Abuse comes in all shapes and sizes. Whether it is mental or physical it all hurts. They say that children that come from an abused home usually end up being in another abusive relationship in their adulthood. Either on the receiving end or the giving. I don’t believe that is a free pass. Or an excuse. I think that once you grow up you need to work hard on yourself to show growth and not to repeat history.
For me, having my first baby was a normal stressor and tested my patience in a non abusive way, that was up until I got pregnant with my second son. Chalk it up to raging hormones making me blind. There was no excuse for my short talk…to my burst of yelling, and flipping out on my then three year old. Every time it was like an outer body experience. I would find myself screaming at my precious baby over not huge issues….. just the normal parent/child beefs. Then I’d go cry aggressively to myself wanting to curl up and die. I had to dig deep and work very hard on myself to take deeps breaths and walk away.
My next attempt at new coping methods was to put him in his room and not let him out until he or I were calm. I’m so thankful I’ve been proactive in my non-perfect parenting and correcting my learned “bad behavior.” Because I already have seen my oldest scream at the baby over harmless mistakes so you see the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. So I have to practice what I preach. I’m always finding ways to make myself a better example. It’s so much easier to just freak out; but the work you put in to try to real in your temper will pay off ten times more.