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Working on your Marriage during a Pandemic

As a wife and mother, I lived by the quote “No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.” That’s how I functioned as a wife pre-COVID pandemic. Even as a stay at home mom, but then one day my husband, not a jealous or disrespectful man, spoke the words I reflected on “Why Do you smell so good? Why are you dressed up? Where did you go today?” … I paused to answer because pre-pandemic I would have had choice words for him, but to my shock it didn’t feel as an insult he truly was confused. He had noticed that I, who always had gotten up, dressed up, and never gave up, even if my biggest travels that day was just my living room had stopped! I was the leggings with a messy bun COVID queen daily!

I can see why he asked those questions. I decided though I wasn’t going anywhere, I wanted to feel and look as good again as the wife and mother pre-COVID, to have a purpose even in quarantine. Even though I wasn’t offended, I was reminded that my daily self that he had known as his wife wasn’t what he saw daily. I had stopped because the daily places I had dressed to present myself to weren’t currently open and the people weren’t there to run into. But, my husband and marriage were pre-COVID so I decided to pull it together.

Here are a few things I’ve put in place to keep my marriage hot and to keep me feeling like myself during this lockdown. Do you remember when it was just the both of you with little responsibility? Then life happens with bills, schedules, kid tasks, and daily chores, masks, and all of our date areas closed. It wasn’t like this when you were dating. You got dressed up to meet, laughing over a meal, holding hands, and walking to the car for a goodbye that you both didn’t want to be the ending. Now it’s COVID and you’re home 24-7 and there’s nowhere to go nowhere for date night so I’ve made a few pandemic date nights that I’ve tried and we enjoyed :

Text during the day about fun things! It’s easy to send the negative parts, but find the points you’d send prior to kids and COVID. Little things like I miss you, I’m cooking our favorite dinner, I’m thankful you work so hard, I want you, I can’t wait to have you home great to send and receive.

Put away the gadgets! Busy, unpredictable times require a lot of gadget time Facebook Instagram heck even the news, at least it does for us, but pick a time and turn it off! Remember the days when you would press a button and get the day’s voicemails? I need that again! Nowadays we feel obligated to be available 24-7, but you don’t have to!

Go for a walk, or even a run, any physical activity is good for the both of you when life is unpredictable. And exercise together as often as possible.

Here’s are a few date night ideas we’ve done in a pandemic at home after kids are asleep:

Indoor picnic

Beer tasting

Cooking together. We love the prepackaged Fresh Market meals.

Amazon lingerie. Yes, I know what you’re thinking but trust me, it’s just like Victoria Secret, but it delivers to your door and it keeps your marriage hot plus I felt hot in most of them

Home Wine tasting

Homemade pizza Night

Write 10 favorite memories you remember previous to kids and read it out loud

Play a drinking card game asks and old school remix, immature but a moment to go back won’t kill us.

You will always have time for things you put first and trust me it’s my children, chores, and everyday mom life but my marriage is what formed those. My marriage is like home maintenance when the smoke detector starts beeping, you fix it, you don’t buy a new home. Yes, the pandemic has us all home with nowhere to go but it’s an opportunity to reconnect, find time for fun, laughter, pre-children shenanigans, try new things, and rediscover your spouse that’s been a blessing to reconnect and make This quarantine one to look back at and say that’s the time we….

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