A common struggle I see in session, as a couples therapist, is women giving of themselves all day. They give their bodies, time, and energy to their children, work, and to-do lists. It’s no surprise that when their spouse reaches over at night for some physical attention, the last thing many women want to do is give more. It is impossible to give to our spouses when we are empty ourselves.
As it would be good practice to live what I preach, I decided I would give myself a little pampering. I am a boy-mom of 3 in my 30’s and somehow I missed the boat on learning how to do my own makeup, or at least doing it well. I see peers look fantastic and I am sticking to the same routine I picked up in high school from a gorgeous friend in gym class. Those skills I learned here and there are slowly slipping from memory and I’m pretty sure my skin has changed a lot since then, at least I hope so!
I felt like it was time to teach myself how to do my own make-up.
So of course I watched a bunch of YouTube videos. I did it amazing the first time… I thought. Not blending properly, foundation not a good color fit, and contouring to make me look skeletal were just some of the mistakes I found out I did wrong. This was noticed when my peers pointed them out. Some of these “skills” I had been doing for weeks before someone had the decency to mention it. Those are your true friends. Anyyyyway, there was this local make-up artist I went to high school with. She posted all of these amazing photos online of her work. I asked her what her rate was for a make-up lesson. $75 for one hour seemed like an investment I needed to do at this point in my life. It was that, or risk being picked up by a circus. My kids need me around here, so I chose the make-up lesson.
Did you know you could hire someone to teach you how to apply make-up?
Not just do your make-up, but actually walk you through every step? Emily (instagram: @EmilyRivera_Artistry) was AMAZING. She showed up at my house during my son’s nap time and we set up camp in my dining room where she brought her own supplies and lighting. Want to know a behind the scenes tidbit? I didn’t even have time to dry my hair as my 2 year old had kept me so busy before she showed up. You can see that in the photos. She arrived early and waited patiently as I put my son down. Then we got to work.
She did a technique where she made up half of my face while I copied her on the other side. This was so I could make sure that I knew what to do when she left my house. She taught me how to choose and hold brushes and how to pick out make-up that worked for my skin type and skin tone. She helped me find a routine that didn’t take 30 minutes. Mommy has minimal time to apply and run out the door. She also taught me some important tips, especially for busy and tired moms.
While getting my make-up done by Emily, I picked up some game-changer tricks of the trade.
- Don’t use a concealer that is too dry under your eyes. As a mother of three, I wake up exhausted. I have pretty much just come to terms with “tired” is just the way I look now. I pile on the concealer because I think it’s going to help. Did you know there are ways to make it worse than it already is? Using a drying concealer can emphasize the wrinkles under your eyes and cause them to crack. Oh joy! So now I look tired and 10 years older? Fantastic. Emily says to fight this by using a hydrating, water-based concealer. She recommended Tarte- Rainforest of the Sea.
- Use a translucent powder. I have to be honest. I had never even heard of this before my make-up lesson. Less is more with this product. Use this translucent powder under your eyes to set the concealer (see above) to even further prevent cracks. Anything that is going to save these dark circles is a priority on my make-up tips for busy moms.
- Don’t use your fingers to apply everything. I know, I know. Who has the time or money to spend on brushes? I have maybe two good brushes I have accumulated over time. I keep telling myself I can use the applicator the powder came with… Or that I will eventually find a much cheaper one for the same quality somewhere. Well, that day has come. Emily suggested the Morphe brushes because they are really good quality for SO cheap. I looked them up and found them online- a 12 piece set for $25! It’s not MAC or anything, but it will get you the results you need.
- Invest in the foundation and Maybelline the rest. Emily said to make sure you invest in the foundation, as you need a properly supported canvas. She recommended NARS All Day Luminous Foundation. I just checked and it’s $49 online on Sephora and the NARS website. Geez! I bought it weeks ago as she recommended but I didn’t like the price tag. Do you know how many diapers I can get with that? She loves Maybelline products herself and recommended the drug store brand to those that need to build their stash.
- Contour starting from where the top of your ear starts, as opposed to the line where you make that fish face. The fish face line is too low and is causing an appearance of droopy cheekbones that is aging you. That’s the exact opposite of what I am going for while applying make-up.
That’s it! Don’t forget to take care of yourself, beautiful busy mommas. You don’t always have to have make-up on to feel beautiful, but do take the time out to do whatever you love. Whatever your passion is, fill your cup back up so you are capable of giving to those you love, including yourself!