Before I begin to share my journey of extended breastfeeding, I want to first address the fact that breast vs. bottle is a hot button issue and let you know that this article is in no way a “breast vs. bottle” debate. Adding fuel to the whole “mommy wars” thing is just not something that will ever be on my agenda. I simply want to share my breastfeeding journey and by doing so maybe offer some hope to a mom who is struggling to nurse her newborn, or to let the mom who is still nursing her toddler and feels embarrassed when she gets asked yet again when she is going to stop know that she is not alone. And to the formula feeding moms, I am virtual high-fiving you as well because I know that choice may have been hard and complicated and it was not one you made lightly (I’ve been there too).
Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, I am still nursing my eighteen month old toddlers. Plural. As in, twins! It seems crazy to just about everyone I meet that I am still nursing toddler twins and honestly some days it seems crazy to me too. I’ve said probably a million times in the midst of my sheer exhaustion that it was time to wean them but the timing just hasn’t been right yet. Nursing twins was not easy at first and looking back on our start I can’t help but feel proud that we made it this far. I honestly didn’t know my body could do it. My twins were born at 34.6 weeks and they didn’t quite know how to suck and swallow well enough to only rely on nursing. So when they were born, and for about a month following their birth, they would get a little bottle and breastfeed each feeding. I would pump milk between each feeding and I actually began pumping on the recovery table after my emergency c-section to cue my body to start producing. The nurse asked me about five times if I was sure I wanted to start pumping then or if I wanted to wait but I was sure. I really believe that pumping, in addition to nursing that first month or two, really did help increase my milk and make the process easier in the long run. Another thing that I really think helped me to create such a great nursing relationship with my twins is the support I received from the Lactation Consultants at Wellington Regional Hospital. I can’t sing their praises enough! I met with the ladies in the hospital, attended their lactation support meetings, and have called them many times throughout the last year and a half with questions and they have always helped, supported, and guided me in the right direction.
Having the proper support “team” can be really important for some nursing moms and it made a huge difference for me. When I had my oldest daughter, our breastfeeding journey was short, painful and in some ways traumatic. Even though she was born healthy and on time, I received terrible advice on how to nurse her. The lactation consultants I spoke to then were impatient with me as a first time mom and nursing did not come naturally for us. I had mastitis five times in the four short months I nursed her and I cried so much during our nursing sessions from pain and bleeding, that it wasn’t the comforting experience it should have been for either of us. Finally with my final bout of mastitis and being told I would end up in the hospital, I took the heavy duty medicine and my milk dried up seemingly over night. I was so hysterical when she had to have her first bottle of formula that I made my husband do it. She was then a formula fed baby but she, of course, turned out perfectly fine and was probably much happier because I was no longer crying while nursing her.
After that experience, it would have been easy to go straight to the bottle the second time around, especially with twins but I can be a little headstrong when I set my mind to something and I knew I wanted to at least try. So in addition to pumping, and meeting with professionals, I set realistic goals for myself with the twins. My first goal was to nurse them for the first three months. And by the grace of God we did it. I can barely remember that time as I was sleeping 30 minutes to 2 hours at a time and a walking zombie but we did it. My next goal was then six months, and when we hit six months it had started to get easy and the idea of prepping so many bottles actually seemed like more work. After six months, they began to eat foods too and then I made my next goal of nursing until twelve months. In the midst of all that time, I began to cherish our nursing sessions. I will never forget the way my baby girl wraps her fingers in my hair as she’s falling asleep or the way my little guy stares into my eyes as his chunky little hand is clutching my shirt. Those quiet moments together have been precious in so many ways.
After twelve months of nursing passed me by, so did my goals and timelines. The twins now, at eighteen months, only want to nurse when they wake up and before nap and bedtime. They are busy, they eat full meals and snacks, and they don’t often want to slow down. My son will sometimes completely skip nursing for an entire day and then other days ask to nurse. I am not pushing myself or them, this chapter in my story will end when the time is right. To my fellow moms our journey’s are each unique to us and there are few things as personal as breastfeeding, feel proud of your story however it has been written. I know I feel proud of mine.
