FOMO = Fear of Missing Out.
We missed a pool party. I didn’t forget. I didn’t miss the date on my calendar. I didn’t have other plans. I just decided not to go.
Today the girls and I spent most of the morning in our pajamas. We watched Moana on the laptop while they drew pictures of mermaids. Eventually we dressed and drove to the nearest Dunkin Donuts, where I reveled in a hot-off-the-presses pumpkin donut and a fresh cup of coffee – one I didn’t have to brew or pour myself.
After that we visited the pet store to play with the kittens. Then we went home and had our own pool party, just the three of us. We listened to music and ate popsicles. The girls took turns pushing me around the pool on my float. We swam for three hours, before we headed inside for a late lunch in front of cartoons.
Even though I knew we were missing out on a fun time with friends, it didn’t feel like it. It felt – glorious.
Our lives are chock full of show-up, get-involved, be-there-or-be-square, don’t-miss-out-or-you’ll-regret-it opportunities. Every weekend there are community events, concerts, movies in the park, birthday parties, dance recitals, trips to Disney, soccer games, Sunday school. Multitudinous reasons to rush and hurry and wear ourselves out, just so our kids won’t miss out on anything.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m sure that some of these activities are super meaningful to some families and make up an important part of family life. But…do we all need to be doing all the things?
Something is wrong with my priorities when I show up at work Monday morning and breathe a sigh of relief because I can finally sit down and rest for a minute. Something is wrong when I am growling at my children to “Hurry up because we are late” – seven days a week. Something is wrong when I can’t pinpoint the last time I stopped rushing and doing, and simply sat down to play dolls with my daughters.
While we were floating around in the pool today, I looked at my freckle-faced, gap-toothed seven-year-old and said, “You know, sweetie, one day you are going to grow up and leave home. One day I will be floating around in this pool by myself, and I will really miss you.” She looked concerned, and asked if I would be sad. “Yes, a little,” I said honestly. “But I will also be so very glad that we got to have these times together. These memories will make me happy when you are far away.”
I am not saying we’ll never to go another pool party, or take a weekend trip to Disney. We will do some things. Just not ALL the things. There will be days when we will choose to do nothing. Because it is in those moments of doing nothing that I will stop, look around, and realize – I have everything.
I TOTALLY have this! Working on it, too.
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