“Monday’s child is fair of face, Tuesday’s child is full of grace…”

So goes the old English nursing rhyme. It’s fun and cute when you’re pregnant to look at your due date and wonder when your baby will come and if he or she will have the attribute given in the poem. But let me tell you, I have a Tuesday’s child and she is ahem, a little more like her mother in the grace area.

She and her sisters started dance classes this spring at the Center for Creative Education near downtown West Palm Beach. My daughters love the dance class, but my Tuesday child struggles so much with balance. There’s no pressure or stress for her to perform, but one day the teacher said something so striking that I knew I had to remember those words the rest of my life. It’s a statement that applies to dance, but perhaps even more importantly, to life in general. 

“Keep your head straight because the rest of your body will follow.”

Let that sink in for a minute. 

As moms, it’s so easy to get our heads tangled up in all kinds of things in the daily grind. Sticky floors, wet beds, noses needing wiping, diapers needing changing, groceries, homework, class projects, adult relationships, work, and on and on and on. In the time it takes to misinterpret one text message, we can suddenly become so despondent that we feel all alone in this continuous cycle. This is what happened to me after the birth of our third baby.

My third pregnancy was rough on my body. I was the heaviest I’d ever been and although I was genuinely thankful and excited about our newest child, I didn’t feel great physically. Because I had an amazing completely drug-free birth with our second, I was hoping and praying that would be the case for baby three. However, I very vividly remember the day the midwife glanced at my chart and announced to me that I was now obese and considered “high-risk”. I asked her what that meant and she responded, “Well, you’re almost due. You’ll have to do a non-stress test.” RIGHT.

Non-stress test for a 39-week pregnant lady who has just been told she’s obese? It almost made me laugh out loud.

Well, baby and I both did fine during the NST, so they told me to go home and try to walk a lot. You can imagine my eyes rolling at this point. So I did. For almost 3 weeks. That baby was almost 2 weeks overdue and she still wasn’t coming. My plans for a drug-free birth were dashed when they scheduled an induction. 

The induction, however, wasn’t as bad as I pictured, and our third daughter came out and I asked for her to immediately be put on my chest. They held all medical interventions while she happily nursed for almost an hour and then gazed at us with her big, bright bluish gray eyes. She was a content baby and a fairly long sleeper. I was in heaven. Her daddy and two big sisters, ages 4 and 2, adored her. 

Everything was going pretty well, but suddenly I noticed I felt sad a lot of the time. I was cold and snappy with my husband, and our daughters’ normal noises began to sound like nails on a chalkboard. I didn’t understand it. With a beautiful family and comfortable home and fairly decent health, I had no reason to be unhappy.

Even now, 4 years later, I still cannot think of one single thing that was happening that made me feel this overwhelming gloom.  

Perhaps it was postpartum depression, and I probably should have seen a professional for help. One day a friend called me and I burst into tears when she asked me how I was doing. She gave me some great advice and I have never really shared this story before, but I felt that perhaps it could help someone else. 

First of all, I prayed. It helps me to know there is a Creator and He loves me. If praying is not your thing, perhaps meditation or motivational quotes or journaling your thoughts can be similar. I try to make this the first thing I do every morning, as soon as I wake up. 

Secondly, I read. I made sure I was reading Bible verses and inspirational messages all day. As a writer, I naturally love the written word and retain things that I read better than if I only hear them. I had messages on my mirror, beside my bed, and I even taped a beautiful birthday card from my in-laws up on the wall next to the changing table so that I could read it at least 8-10 times a day. 

Thirdly, I exercised. I knew that part of my mental/emotional problems were coming from my physical issues. Once I started, I realized how much better it made me feel in general. Those exercise-related endorphins are awesome!

Next, I listened. As I was exercising or driving in the car or doing dishes or folding laundry, I made sure I was listening to either music with positive lyrics (Mandisa was my favorite during that time) or a helpful podcast, like this one. 

Finally, I thanked. Somewhere I read that it’s a good idea to write down 5 things you are thankful for each day. So I did. At first I only did 5, but then as the days went on I found I had way more than 5 things to add to my list. Then I started to verbalize these things, and thank others for their kindnesses to me. Gratitude is a very strong medicine.

As I look back on this list, I see that these five things have become part of my daily routine. If I start to feel a little down or stressed, I now know what (and Who) can help me. 

Oh and my Tuesday’s child? I’ve noticed her pointing her chin and keeping that head up a lot more, which in turn keeps that body off the floor!

What do you do when you’re feeling down? Please let me know in the comments section. You never know how your comment might make a huge difference in another mom’s life!